Divorce Services

Therapy and counseling during divorce

A licensed therapist treats your wellbeing. They are not a custody evaluator and are not a divorce coach.

What this professional does

Licensed mental health professionals, such as marriage and family therapists, clinical social workers, professional clinical counselors and psychologists, provide treatment for the stress, grief, anxiety and family changes that divorce can bring. Children may benefit from their own therapist.

A treating therapist is on the side of your wellbeing. That is different from a court-appointed custody evaluator or recommending counselor, whose role is to assess and report to the court. A treating therapist generally should not be asked to take sides in a custody dispute, and you should ask your attorney before involving any therapist in your case.

Counseling is also different from coaching. Coaches are not licensed to diagnose or treat mental health conditions.

When to seek this help

  • Sleep, work or parenting are suffering under the strain.
  • You are grieving the end of the marriage, even if you chose it.
  • Children show changes in behaviour, school performance or mood.
  • You need a safe place to process before making big decisions.

How to prepare

  • Your insurance details, if you plan to use benefits.
  • A short note of what you want help with right now.
  • For a child, the consent requirements of any existing custody order. Ask your attorney if unsure.
  • Preferences on session format: in person, video or a mix.

Questions to ask before hiring

  • What is your license type and number?
  • Do you have experience with separation, co-parenting or children of divorce?
  • How do you handle requests from attorneys or the court for records or testimony?
  • What are your fees, and do you take my insurance?
  • What is your policy on confidentiality with parents when treating a child?

Checking qualifications

  • LMFT, LCSW and LPCC licenses are issued by the Board of Behavioral Sciences. Psychologists are licensed by the Board of Psychology. Search either through the DCA License Search.
  • Check for public enforcement actions on the board pages.

Limits of this role

  • A treating therapist is not a custody evaluator and should not be expected to recommend custody.
  • If you are in crisis or unsafe, contact emergency services. The California Courts self-help pages also link to free, confidential domestic violence help.

Providers & resources to explore

External organization listed for information only. No endorsement, partnership or referral. Checked on its official website on November 6, 2026; confirm qualifications, availability and local service directly.

  • Talkspace (Provider): Online therapy platform. Official website. Confirm your therapist is licensed in California and suited to your needs. Not a custody evaluator and not an emergency service. Source checked 2026-11-06.

Frequently asked questions

Can my therapist write a letter for my custody case?

Treating therapists are usually cautious about this because their role is treatment, not evaluation. Ask your attorney before requesting anything for court.

What is the difference between a therapist and a divorce coach?

A therapist is licensed to assess and treat mental health concerns. A coach helps with planning, communication and organisation and is not licensed to provide therapy.

Does my child need consent from both parents to see a therapist?

It can depend on custody orders and the child's age. Check your orders and ask your attorney or the therapist.

Related topics

Primary resources

This page is general education for San Diego County residents. It is not legal, tax, financial or mental health advice and has not been reviewed by an attorney. External organizations named here are informational listings only: no endorsement, partnership, referral or ranking is implied, and qualifications, availability and local service must be confirmed directly with each organization.