Divorce Services

Divorce mediation in San Diego County

A neutral helps both spouses negotiate their own agreement. The mediator is not either person's advocate.

What this professional does

A private divorce mediator is a neutral third party who helps both spouses talk through property, support and parenting decisions and reach an agreement they both sign. Many mediators are family law attorneys or mental health professionals, but in the mediator role they serve both of you equally.

That neutrality is the point and also the limit. A mediator cannot be your individual legal advocate, cannot tell you that you are getting a bad deal, and cannot protect your interests against your spouse's. Many people keep a consulting attorney who reviews proposals privately between sessions.

Private mediation is different from court custody services. In San Diego, Family Court Services conducts Child Custody Recommending Counseling for parents with custody or parenting time disputes. The California Courts explain that some courts use mediation and others use recommending counseling, where the counselor may make a recommendation to the judge.

When to seek this help

You and your spouse can sit in the same room, or on the same video call, and talk about money and children.
You want to control the pace and cost more than a contested process usually allows.
You want a parenting plan built around your family rather than a default schedule.
There is no history of abuse or coercion that would make negotiation unsafe. If there is, talk with an attorney first.

How to prepare

A list of every decision you need to make: home, accounts, debts, retirement, support, parenting schedule.
Financial statements for all accounts and debts, so both spouses work from the same numbers.
Your priorities, written down, with what you can and cannot accept.
A consulting attorney you can call between sessions, if you choose to have one.
Children's school and activity calendars if parenting time is on the agenda.

Questions to ask before hiring

What is your professional background, and are you licensed as an attorney or therapist?
Who drafts the written agreement and the court judgment paperwork?
How do you handle a large power or information imbalance between spouses?
How do you charge, and is the fee split between us?
What happens if mediation stalls part-way through?

Checking qualifications

There is no single California license for private mediators. If a mediator says they are an attorney, check the State Bar profile. If they say they are a therapist, check the DCA License Search.
Ask what mediation training they have completed and who provided it. Training certificates are private credentials, not licenses.
For court custody services, use the San Diego Superior Court Family Court Services page rather than any private intermediary.

Limits of this role

A mediator cannot give either spouse individual legal advice.
An agreement still needs to be correctly turned into court paperwork. Ask who will do that and review it with counsel.
Mediation may not be appropriate where there is domestic violence. Free confidential help is available, and the court self-help pages link to it.

Providers & resources to explore

External organization listed for information only. No endorsement, partnership or referral. Checked on its official website on November 6, 2026; confirm qualifications, availability and local service directly.

JAMS (Provider): Alternative dispute resolution provider; its site describes mediation and family-law-related neutral roles. Official website. Contact through the official website. Ask about a specific neutral's family-law experience, location and availability. Source checked 2026-11-06.

Frequently asked questions

Is the court custody counselor the same as a private mediator?

No. San Diego Family Court Services provides Child Custody Recommending Counseling as part of the court case. A private mediator is someone you choose and pay, and they cover whatever issues you both agree to bring.

Do we each still need a lawyer?

It is not required, but the mediator cannot advise either of you individually. Many people use a consulting attorney to review the draft before signing.

Can mediation cover property and support, or only children?

Private mediation can cover any issue you both agree to discuss, including property, debts, support and parenting.

Primary resources

California Courts: What to expect from family court mediation: Court custody mediation and recommending counseling explained.
San Diego Family Court Services: Child Custody Recommending Counseling at the four county courthouses.
California Courts Self-Help: Get a divorce: Statewide overview of divorce, legal separation and summary dissolution.

This page is general education for San Diego County residents. It is not legal, tax, financial or mental health advice and has not been reviewed by an attorney. External organizations named here are informational listings only: no endorsement, partnership, referral or ranking is implied, and qualifications, availability and local service must be confirmed directly with each organization.